I failed. Even after returning from Ukraine I didn't write an entry. Honestly, I haven't really wanted to. Leaving left a hole in me that has been bothering me since. I've been a bit more negative and agitated as I have to readjust to a lifestyle with false smiles and judgmental eyes (from HCNs and Volunteers alike). I'm never really able to be myself in Georgia, and I think that's what agitates me the most. There are a SMALL handful of Volunteers and even fewer HCNs that I can feel comfortable talking to as myself. Most of the time I'm putting on my own fake smiles to keep everything on an even keel. Sometimes I wish I was in a tiny village with no cell phone and could just work in the fields all day as opposed to a school.
One of the hardest things is that I can understand almost everything people say in Georgian, but I lack the ability to respond well. When I do try to respond it comes out as if I were a child and then some people think I'm an idiot. It's almost as if people think that what I say in a six-year-old's vocabulary means I can only think at a six-year-old's level. So often I just have to sit there and listen while people talk and talk right in front of me. It's probably the worst thing about getting better at Georgian is being able to fully understand when "friends" and co-workers are talking about you.
Still, that's neither here nor there, and I'll have to wait until July 9, 2012 to give my full opinion on everything. Until then I'll toss around my own fake smile and forced laugh and let people think I don't know anything. Instead I'll fill everyone in on Ukraine. I know my friends and family are interested in knowing, and I know PCVs would love something else to talk and gossip about. So here we go...
My last real entry was about our water park night. It was a really fun time, and I already decided that my next visit MUST include a trip back. It's not a large place, and it can easily be finished in a matter of 2 hours, but I'd like to sit in the hot tubs for more than 5 minutes.
On Sunday Ana and I hosted some of her best friends for a little get together and some drinking. We all got to know each other, play beer pong (thanks to Johnny for his balls) and Kings. She was maid-of-honor at one of her friend's weddings just a week prior and her other best friend's boyfriend was visiting from the States. It was good meeting her friends and beginning to see all the different parts of her life. I truly don't believe you can ever truly know someone until you see their friends. It was a good day, but at the same time I knew I was more than halfway through my vacation.
On Monday I waited for Anastasiya to get off work and then we decided to go downtown to find me a new winter coat. I have a winter coat but it makes me look like a black (or red depending if I turn it inside out) marshmallow. Basically it’s not a good coat to wear when I need to look nice. So we wandered around downtown looking for a peacoat. We stopped at a few places, but Anastasiya wasn’t too fond of any of them so we kept looking. Finally we stopped in one store and she took down one coat that was about double the amount I actually wanted to spend on a coat. I put it on and just really liked it. It fits me almost perfectly and definitely works for my frame. Here it is:
Later that night we celebrated by making tacos. There was no ground beef but we made it with chicken. Still it was delicious.
The next day Anastasiya went to work and I stayed to make a 7 layer dip and guacamole. I’m not sure if I made it right, but Ana LOVED it. We didn’t have chips so I broke up unused taco shells and dipped Pringles in it. It was a good night, but still sad. We just tried not to think too much about the next day.
But the next day came nonetheless. I’ll see her again soon. The flight was sad but simple and now I’m back in Georgia. Trying to get back into the swing of things but failing. I’m trying to find my groove in writing lessons and preparing for my SPA grant but I only think about the amazing week I had.
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