Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Reverse Culture Shock Is The Only Explanation


I’ve been meaning to write a new blog entry for a while. To be honest, I haven’t really been writing in my personal journal much since I’ve been home either. It’s been a mix of emotions and feelings trying to readjust, and it isn’t nearly the same feeling as I thought I might have. I am sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Princeton (Small World Coffee to those who are interested), and I’m looking around at what I notice being the most different. First, people are MUCH quieter, and the music is played at a level that allows casual conversation (the two girls next to me are discussing breaking up with one of the girls’ fiancés). Second, nobody is drinking alcohol. Third, none are speaking Georgian or Russian.

When I walk around I notice a difference, too. In Georgia, when you walk down the street a person going the opposite direction USUALLY makes little attempt at avoiding ramming into you. I’m not sure why this is, but in the USA people are a bit nicer out on the streets. In the home it is a different story. I haven’t been to many people’s places since being home, but nobody beats Georgian hospitality. I have yet to find a person or family who will just drop everything to take care of a guest. I guess it has left me occasionally awkward in the presence of others, because I’m just expecting for a supra and a ton of wine/chacha. It is also refreshing, because all those social demands in Georgia between host and guest left both parties extremely exhausted. Most differences I write about are superficial, but don’t get me wrong, there are some major readjustments being back.

I guess the biggest thing I’ve noticed since coming home is very few people care. As a teacher, I figured employers would be interested in hearing about my experiences. They aren’t. I’m asked more questions about my student teaching than Peace Corps. Don’t get me wrong, many people; especially my close friends will listen to every detail. Vasav was the one who motivated me to write today because he wanted to hear about my experience and life being home (and yes, I will see you around Thanksgiving). Last week I was at the beach with Megan, and I spent most of the day talking to her about Georgia, and how awkward I feel to be back half the time; she listened intently, and when I apologized for talking so much about it, her response was “you were gone for two years, and it was a big part of your life, I want to hear about it”. Yep, that’s why after 10+ years I am still friends with these people. However, most people I meet or become acquainted to want a brief five-minute description in which they nod and smile at the appropriate times and then tune me out after a minute. Meanwhile, I listen to every minute detail of their office job, and the big presentation they have to give on the slumping sales. BORING!!!!! Nonetheless, I will listen to them, ask questions, and try to genuinely show interest expecting to talk about Georgia at some point, but then realize they don’t understand, nor care about Peace Corps, or Georgia.

Georgians are fascinated by America and my life in America. I can talk to someone for hours about America. Most Americans don’t give a crap about Georgia, and generally don’t care what happens there, or what my experiences and hardships were. Or, they look at me weirdly when I make a cultural mishap, or ask a Georgian type question (i.e. When are you getting married?)

The work that I did in Georgia often seems to pale in comparison to what Americans take for granted. It’s weird to feel proud in Georgia, and have people thank me in the street for something that Americans don’t give a s*** about. I expected this from all the reading I had done the past few months, and I thought I was ready, but I wasn’t as much as I thought. This all just kind of fits in with the whole job thing, I guess.

Jobs. Some Volunteers came back and got them immediately. Some not. I’m in the NOT category. I seriously thought Peace Corps would be big for a social studies teacher. But, here I am, one week until school and I’m unemployed. First off, I just barely missed the cut off for most of the interviews and in-class lesson demonstrations. I arrived in July, and because school was over I couldn’t show administrators my teaching abilities. I had a bunch of calls for interviews when I was still in Georgia, but they wouldn’t do Skype, and by the time I came home the positions were already filled. There have only been a few positions that have opened up since, and I’m generally stuck now. I’d go into something else, but I’m not exactly qualified to do anything else except teach. Not just that, but the jobs I have looked into require more years of experience that I don’t have. It sucks, because I know in some of these positions I am over-qualified for them in every way except for on paper. To anybody in college reading this, your GPA actually DOES count after graduation; so don’t spend hours playing Halo and miss that Biology Lab every week (but it is acceptable to ditch that “dance” class, or at least sneak in a little jungle juice).

There is one more thing about teaching that I’m trying to grapple with. There was a distinct difference between the way I teach, and what my professors taught me in my teaching college. I had one class when I was getting my Masters’ where the professor yelled at me and called me a “fascist” because I disagreed with her about tracking. I have never quite figured out what to say in interviews when the supervisor/principal asks me how I’d conduct my class or handle classroom management. Do I tell them the general BS I learned in my Masters’? Or do I tell them what I’ve gotten to work (which is usually not what I learned in the teacher’s college)? I had my eyes opened at my last interview when the supervisor basically said “that s*** doesn’t work, and the kids in this school will eat you alive” when I talked about setting up rules with the kids and creating a democratic classroom. Personally, I couldn’t agree more. I want my classroom a benevolent dictatorship. Students will know my personal pedagogy, and I’ll always treat them with respect, but there will be boundaries and expectations that they will just HAVE to follow. In Georgia, I certainly didn’t use the “democratic classroom”, and if I did my 12th graders would go “this guy is a wimp”. So, maybe I’ve been going into my interviews in the wrong way. Maybe I need to be myself, and say what I really think, and not parrot back the pseudoscience of professors who have spent no real time in an actual classroom.

Maybe I’ll just go back to get a masters’ or doctorate in a subject that actually means something and is based on real science and research.

I’ll keep looking, but heading back abroad is starting to look more and more appealing.

me menatrebi saqartvelo da chemi megobrebi saqartveloshi.