Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the reasons I went into teaching. I remember reading essays and studying over books in graduate school that went over many of the problems students face in school. Then I remember when Governor Chris Christie came and started tearing away at teachers to destroy the fabric of the teacher’s union. I remember telling myself, “I won’t be those teachers that get disheartened and stop trying”. Unfortunately, looking at some of my situation here in Peace Corps I have found myself in that exact situation. I am looking at some of the things I’ve done IN THE CLASSROOM, and compared it to what I wished I could do as a teacher, and let’s just say I’m far from impressed.
Peace Corps Staff as admittedly told me that they believed I had certain special abilities and skills, which is why I got this particular site. I won’t go into details, but I was excited to really get into teaching and doing everything I could for my students. I was really into it the first semester, and I tried all these new and different strategies (most of which got me strange stares from students and teachers alike), and overall I didn’t feel any change, and I was more frustrated with students who disrespected me in class than educating. Plus, I was always fighting a language barrier and butting up against the status quo. Instead of fighting against what I knew was wrong I got sucked into it myself. Now I’m stuck wondering if I’m really cut out for this whole teaching thing. Is my fancy Masters of Arts in Teaching and teaching certificate just a piece of paper?
A lot of the issues I know are language and culturally based. Some of it is the size of my classrooms. Mainly, it’s me. I haven’t put nearly enough time into lesson planning or brainstorming new ideas. Instead of focusing on teaching, which didn’t provide me with that Peace Corps “Wow” experience I turned to other things. I decided to focus my attention on the university, the fitness center, getting dictionaries, getting chalkboards. All of these things are great, but they aren’t what I originally set out to do. Not to mention that now that I spend so little time at school because I’m so busy with other things I feel like a giant failure. I’ve let myself and my students down. Then I saw a few PCVs posting this article. It’s true, I have faced a lot of failure in my time here. I have failed in studying and becoming an advanced and fluent speaker of Georgian. I’ve failed at motivating people around me to really care and work hard in school. So, instead of thinking of new approaches to my style I basically gave up and went on to something new (university and fitness club).
This has all thrown me for a bit of a loop. Should I even be a teacher? If I do become a teacher, will I end up being one of the poor teachers represented on the “Waiting for Superman” documentary? The more I learn about education back home the more I worry I could be part of the problem. If I go into teaching I feel like I’ll have a lot to learn. I know that going forward I WILL try harder in the classroom. I will make the most of this experience and give my students something they truly deserve: a competent teacher that cares about their education.
Here’s me refusing to let me be a failure!
Nakhvamdis! (Goodbye)
Remember why you decided to do this - not because it's easy, but because it's hard. And it's worthwhile. Failure is okay if you learn from it.
ReplyDeleteThe only people who've had a bigger impact on my life than my teachers are my family and friends. It's the most noble profession out there for a reason. Keep your head up, get better, and remember that you're doing something worth doing - even when you get caught in the suck and grind of it.
Hey Tom,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your teaching troubles. Believe me, I know what you're talking about with a lot of the cultural, creativity, and resources issues faced in Peace Corps classrooms. I was a PCV in Kazakhstan. I have a question for you, if you'd be willing to answer: the PC Kazakhstan program was closed before I finished two full years, but we were offered re-enrollment. Georgia is a possibility for me, but one of my main goals is to learn Russian. What is your sense of the Georgian attitude towards Russian. It seems like most people speak it, but I'm not sure they like to. Are there any volunteers trained in Russian, or who use primarily Russian at their sites?
Any info you can give me would be greatly appreciated.
Hope your teaching troubles pass soon.